“Do you really want it? Or are you going to just run and let it go as soon as you are looking for something new? Are you committed? We chose you because you are capable. The question is, are you here for the long game?”
Ten minutes upon waking these thoughts were in my head. At first, I thought I was making them up. I was irritated because I had woken up hearing something my husband was saying in the next room, and my dreams from the night disappeared. My guidance was gone. Or so I thought. I wanted things to happen in a way that made “sense” to me. Can you relate?
No matter how “spiritual” or “trusting” I am, I also am human. I get lost in those human moments, and need to get back to the truth. That life is an amazing game, and when we get out of our own way, so much more can happen.
I definitely was in my way. How did I know that you may ask? Life was going good, however, I felt something was missing. Some type of tweak in life. You know that feeling. There is something else your soul wants to say. There is something your heart just craves to feel. That’s what was going on this morning.
My mind turned to the usual of questioning. How could I not be committed after all of these years of hard work and sacrifice to something I believed in and was given? Of course I wanted it. Of course I was in it for the long haul. Or wait….. Was I? I had never made that decision consciously. And my soul knew. And now I did too. When both our soul and consciousness know something, there is no going back. No pretending. It can feel scary, and at the same time so freaking liberating.
I sat there on the floor meditating. My dog kept on bothering me wanting my attention. Why was he bothering so much when I needed to figure this out? He was my dream messenger for the morning. After all, we are always dreaming both day and night. So, I listened to the message being given to me by this dog that miraculously graced the life of myself and my husband 16 months ago. When I didn’t know if I wanted another dog. After all, it was a big responsibility. I wasn’t sure if I was quite over the loss of my other dog of 17 years. Could I have enough love to go around? Is this the right decision? Would it keep me tethered? I remember sitting with him and how calm he was. I didn’t have any history of him. Three years old from across the country. I didn’t have all the answers I usually need to make a decision. He made me feel something though. Yet, I still questioned it. Being human I guess.
Back then, I was told someone else put a “hold” on him for 24 hours. I was devastated. At that moment I realized how much he moved my heart. The assistant told me to check the next day since sometimes people who put holds release them. I got crazy. Wow. I really wanted that dog, and was ready for that commitment. The next day he came up in the system seven minutes after I finished my client calls for the day. The computer screen for the animal shelter was scrambled. Dogs were doubled up, some weren’t seen, and I knew…. Spirit was in play. I had made the decision, and this dog and I were meant to be together. I jumped into the car frantically driving. I arrived and saw a woman walking him. My heart sank, and I almost cried. “I want to take that dog home” I said to the assistant working there. She looked at me and smiled. “I will let that woman know. She just wanted to walk a dog this morning. She isn’t here to take one home.” I almost burst out crying with the beauty of Spirit, God, Universe. Making sure that little dog was there for me as soon as I arrived. It went both ways. I needed him, and he needed me. That’s how soul connections and hearts desires truly work.
I learned that often we aren’t sure if we really want what we say we are looking for. There may be fear, wondering if it is the right decision, is it a true commitment, and does it move our soul and heart. Those are all questions we need to ask. With everything we do.
A new love relationship, physical health, a creative idea, a business decision, and the list is endless.
In this month of April we will have the opportunity to really see what we are committed to. To make a decision of yes or no based on soul and heart. To make a decision, and be willing to let Source bring it to you. When it’s right and totally aligned, even computer systems can be shifted. :).
What is this next thing for you? The one that wants your attention? Is it deeper soul connection? A new move? A new relationship? Or maybe a whole new lifestyle shift?
Listen to your heart. Ask yourself the big questions, and make the decision.
As I sit today looking at where I get to commit to a souls longing in a new way, I’m grateful for the little dog who reminds me of what it is all about.
Love.
