My breathing is more labored and I notice I’m holding my breath…a lot. I’m experiencing slight dizziness at times. I’ve been to the doctor, and also a chiropractor. Physically I’m fine, yet my mind plays tricks on me. Energy is running rampant as well.
Some would call this anxiety. It might be. Yet, I know that it is deeper than that. Something is hidden just below the surface.
In the past, I wanted to see a bigger vision, and now I see it. I know what I want in life. I have seen it in dreams so many times and it is perfectly clear.
I don’t know the path though. I have learned to play with things like this and have fun, yet somehow I triggered an older version of myself. The one that wants the plans and strategy all laid out. It is a planning year after all based on numerology. 2020 is a year of the bigger vision, strategy, planning, health, foundations, design, work, and my favorite – checking off the boxes. There can be resistance and inflexibility.
I feel the tug of my heart and head. One wants the practicalities and the plan. The other, to follow the bigger visions and dreams. They refuse to play together.
My heart is tired of the same old rules and guidelines that drove it in the past. It knows that to get new and fun results, it must break those rules and guidelines and create new ones. My mind rebels thinking I will compromise security and stability in the process.
So, what IS that pounding in my heart? That shortness of breath? What is imprisoned in my heart causing this dizziness I feel?
The words.
They are rapidly downloading straight from Spirit, through my heart, and now flowing through my fingers as I type this. I never quite know what will come out. I’ve learned to become okay with that. Yet, it doesn’t fit the typical model that I have been told has success.
Mind games yet again. Old rules and beliefs.
I have two choices. Lay on the floor in a ball overwhelmed, or face what wants to be expressed. What wants to be liberated from my heart.
The words have remained encaged too long. It’s time to liberate the words within.
During this time of a new decade and new beginnings, we are searching for foundations in life, stability, security, plans, visions, and strategies. We know we must “work” and take massive action. Yet, doing this how we did 9 years ago at this same energetic time will not work. Instead of jumping into boxes, we are asked to combine, destroy, or re-invent them. We are being asked to let go of the old rules and guidelines, and create our new playbook of life. We are meant to let our heart and soul guide us so that we don’t have to “work” so hard. It’s time to play with Spirit, and be supported.
What is within you right now that needs expression? How will you set it free and acknowledge it?
I would love to hear in the comments below.
