I remember those nights many years ago. In the middle of the night my body shook and trembled. It felt like lightning bolts ripping through my body as I experienced involuntary convulsions followed by deep sobs and crying uncontrollably. I didn’t know back then what was happening. I felt it was some sort of awakening or initiation into my souls deeper wisdom. Back then I had an insatiable need to connect in with the wisdom of the ancestors. I craved answers. I desperately sought wisdom And more than anything, I wanted peace. In my life, but also for those around me.
I gradually began to learn that I was one of the special ones that could feel the energy of the land. The pain as well as the gifts. Being a heart based person and love bug of all types, I wanted to share the love with everyone. And more times than not, I tapped into the pain of the earth. The injustices happening, the wars or energy of wars long past. Natural disasters and more. I had different visions of native people coming to me, not knowing why. Was the message for me or was it for someone else, and was I the only one listening? It took me a long time to be able to figure out what was mine and what was for someone else. After all, we all are so entwined in this amazing experience we call life.
One day I understood it better. I remember one of these moments of deep crying and immense sadness. I couldn’t shake it, and needed to. I had a lot of work to do in the business I had just created. I didn’t have time for this, or so I thought. The pain in my heart got to be so unbearable that I knew I needed to do something. Maybe it was an unwanted energy that needed to leave. I didn’t know. I was desperate in those ways that someone is desperate trying to release something they don’t even know what it is, let alone cannot see. I turn on the water full blast in the bathtub and run for a canister of Morton’s salt. I didn’t have any fancy bath salts at the time, and knew that Morton’s would do. As the water rushed out the spigot, I couldn’t get the salt in there fast enough. I needed to get in, cleanse myself, release whatever was going on and somehow stop the intense hurting of my heart.
I knew it wasn’t mine.
This came from a much deeper place. From where, I did not know. I get in the tub crying and sobbing as I immerse myself in the salt water in that tiny bathtub. I then sense the sea animals: fish, manta rays, and other sea creatures I can’t identify. I feel their sadness, and I continue to cry. It feels like they are almost crying or screaming for help. From what, I do not know. Eventually this feeling subsides, and I am left with confusion once again of what has just happened.
A few days later, I’m in a meditation group and casually mention what had happened. I then blurt out that I felt all of what was ready to happen to the water and the tsunami in Japan. I sensed it two days earlier. I freeze in that moment with the understanding that I sense things before they happen. I don’t know where they are going to happen, but I sense things of the earth and know when it needs attention.
Over the years I have told this story in various places. I’m told over and over again that people don’t want to hear about pain and suffering. They want lightness and fun. I get it. So do I. And I didn’t share for fear of being too out there or too morbid.
I haven’t had those intense feelings for a long time. I have managed to work with the energy so that it doesn’t consume me. I can be a great voice for the planet when I’m not consumed in the pain of it all.
Which brings me to today. I’m in a building where I felt compelled to come. The energy of the ancestors are palpable and I feel them intensely. There are projects I’m called to write, and I knew that it couldn’t wait another day. I rush through the traffic and get here to write. And what I write is nothing of what I had planned. It’s perfect though. The messages are always what needs to happen. I trust in that.
For some reason I notice a photo of some disasters happening in Nicaragua. The country where my son’s dad is from. In fact, his dad, and many relatives now live there after staying away for 20 years. I hear about the smoke, burnings, looting, and more going on, and I start to cry. First, for the people who I once considered family and still who I carry within my heart in some way. Second for the people that are suffering. And lastly for the repetition of history that repeats itself.
Why today I ask? Why did I see it today? The feeling in my heart gets intense, and I start to shake. I now know how to process this easier so I am not sobbing uncontrollably on the ground. Yet to the trained eye, if anyone were watching, they could see the subtle tremors and releases of energy as I sat at my computer to write.
What’s the message I ask. And yet I know. I’ve felt it in my bones. I’ve experienced it throughout the years, and I learned about it in that bathtub many years ago.
I have known for years that we can tap into the layers of the land, its history and release old imprints and challenges so that certain parts of history don’t repeat themselves. However, it can’t happen until we have released all of those feelings within us. Yes, there are dark pieces we let go of. We all have them. And then there are the light pieces to be claimed and expanded. That’s where the transformation happens. Not only for our lives, but for those around us and the world.
Today, as I sat crying for what is happening in Nicaragua, I know this is different for some reason. I’m here in a sacred place in the middle of the city. To many it goes disguised as “just a building”. But I know better. The ancestors are here. Guiding those who will listen. They have waited a long time to be heard. They have waited a long time for the right people to come along and help.
Now these magical buildings and places are all over the world. They won’t be the places you automatically think of. They aren’t in the sacred sites of Machu Picchu or the Pyramids of Egypt. Yes, they have tremendous power, but so do these other undiscovered places.
It’s ironic, you know. These small undiscovered and unassuming places often get unnoticed and they are the power spots of so many. How is it a reflection of so many people who visit these places? The ones that might just fly below the radar. The ones who aren’t seen or heard in the big new outlets. Yet, they have an immense power to do the work they are called to do.
So often we seek and feel that the ancient ruins and power spots are where we need to experience and transform. We look for the powerful rituals and native practices that will make us whole again. Yes, they are powerful, I have done it.
But where in your city, land, state or country is that power spot that goes unnoticed? The one that grabs you and asks you to learn? If you carry a lot of pain, it will be to transmute that until you now seek the light. When you have transformed that, then you will begin to hear the wisdom. Of the ancestors.
If you sit quietly enough, you will also begin to distinguish something even more powerful yet. There is a thread going out to the future. You may think at first that it is your need to look into the future. To see what you will be doing. Yes, that will happen as well. But if you sit long enough you will know. It is not you seeking anymore.
Someone is seeking you. You, who now have taken the position of one of the ancestors. Decades and centuries away someone is needing to hear from you. Hear your wisdom. What you learned, how you managed, what keeps you going in times of fear. What propelled you to access the secrets within. These people are reaching to you. The generations that go after you. What seeds have you planted for them to take further? What ideas and beliefs have you uncovered that can help them lead an amazing life and continue to bring peace, love, and joy to the world?
You see, we all are the ancestors. And we get to choose. Are we releasing the pain, or holding on to it? Are we transmuting what we consider to be “reality” and creating something new, innovative and different? Are we embodying the wisdom? And more importantly have we opened up to hear it speak?
Like I said. When I sat down in this sacred space disguised as a fun and funky coffee shop, I thought I would be writing something altogether different. But I can’t ignore the signs. I know better.
It’s time to speak the truth. Because I know if it’s happened to me, then it has happened to many others.
What is that sacred spot calling you? Right now? It’s not a huge distance to cover, although it might be out of your regular path. How is it speaking to you?
Are you listening?
And more importantly, will you share what you know to be true even if you can’t back it up with “hard data”? Because if we wait for science to catch up with the soul, we won’t be here anymore.
Trust the invisible. Be discriminating. You will get the answers. And maybe they aren’t what you were expecting. But share anyway.
Someone needs to hear what you have to share.
